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I help women who are confident in their careers feel equally confident and present in intimate relationships — even when vulnerability feels terrifying.

Who I commonly work with

Many of my clients are successful and capable in their careers. They handle responsibility well, achieve what they set out to do, and are often seen as the ones who can juggle it all.

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Yet confidence at work doesn’t always carry over into close relationships. Many find themselves over-giving, worrying about abandonment, or struggling to trust their partner’s commitment. Or they find themselves pulling away or shutting down when relationships become emotionally close.

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Over-extending themselves in relationships once felt like the safest way to keep connection.

Being the understanding one.
The flexible one.
The one who doesn’t ask for too much.

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These patterns often have roots in family dynamics where others’ needs felt bigger or more urgent. Caretakers may have been stretched thin by financial strain or health challenges, or by a sibling who required ongoing focused attention. Sometimes emotional neglect or trauma simply went unseen. Whatever the circumstances, many learned early that they had to handle things on their own.

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The skills that helped them survive childhood later helped them succeed. Knowing how to read the room, take the emotional temperature of a situation, and respond to what was needed serves them well at work and socially, yet can leave little room for their own needs in close relationships.

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Now they want something different: relationships where they can feel secure, authentic, and emotionally present. But risking vulnerability can still feel deeply unsettling and unfamiliar.

What changes in therapy

The good news is that many of the qualities that serve them so well in their professional lives can also support more fulfilling relationships. Dedication, reliability, and genuine care for others are real strengths — and when that same attention turns inward, you begin to recognize your own feelings and needs as well.

 

Therapy becomes a place where permission is given to treat yourself with the same care and trust you so readily offer others.

 

As this shift takes hold, relationships begin to feel less frightening and more mutual. Confidence grows not from trying harder, but from allowing yourself to show up fully — needs, feelings and all — in the relationships that matter most.

Services I offer

I provide online therapy for adults and young adults navigating relationship stress, anxiety, and the lasting effects of relational trauma, grief, or emotional neglect.​

 

If anxiety feels like the main issue,

start here → https://www.annadillingham.com/anxiety

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If childhood trauma or relational wounds feel central,

start here → https://www.annadillingham.com/trauma

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If grief or loss brings you here,

start here → https://www.annadillingham.com/grief-loss

When this work is a good fit
This work tends to be a good fit — if you:

• Are emotionally thoughtful, even if you feel disconnected from your feelings right now


• Want more than quick fixes or surface-level coping strategies and feel curious about understanding yourself more deeply


• Are drawn to therapy that feels relational, integrative, and emotionally meaningful


• Sense something deeper asking for attention, even if part of you feels unsure or scared to explore it

When this may not be the best fit
Maybe not right now — if you:

• Are in active addiction or need a higher level of care than outpatient therapy can safely provide

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• Are experiencing suicidal thoughts or self-harm and need more immediate or intensive support

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• Are looking only for short-term, solution-focused therapy without exploring emotional or relational patterns

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• Don’t feel ready yet to reflect on emotional or relationship dynamics

A bit about me

I’m Anna Dillingham, a mental health counselor licensed in NY, MA, RI, and VT.

I provide secure online therapy for primarily women working through anxiety, grief, trauma, and relationship challenges.

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I am an IFS-informed therapist and a certified EMDR therapist, integrating these approaches with relational and mindfulness-based approaches.

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My background in Jungian and depth-oriented psychology also informs my work, supporting clients who want to explore overarching patterns, meaning-making, and the deeper stories shaping their lives.

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When helpful, our work may also include creative avenues to deeper layers of experience — including dreamwork, art, and embodied awareness — supporting integration across thoughts, emotions, and embodied experience.

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I work with clients paying privately for therapy and offer secure online sessions across time zones from my home base in Sweden, while providing therapy exclusively to clients located in my U.S. license states.

Where to go next

If something here feels familiar, the next step is choosing the area that best fits what you’re going through right now:

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Schedule a consultation

Reach out to see if a new approach might be right for you. Together we can help you find ways to manage symptoms, while going deeper into past trauma with tools that shift the story, such as EMDR and integrating wounded parts of yourself. You can learn to befriend your nervous system, and trust your instincts. Let’s get you on track toward a life of more ease.

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